until proven guilty.

Most nights I can't even stomach the pain..
comforted only by tears that belong to me
my heart feels whatever it is that my eyes refuse to see
The ultimate disappointment
a numbness; emptiness even
bandaged by the ability to place blame & ease grieving
but I confess
even victims can be deceiving
& so I plead guilty to the detriment of my own character
the failure to provide oneness with the only one I ever needed
Just take me away
because for these heartless crimes someone must pay
I allowed this
maybe I even helped
I might as well have held the smoking gun myself...