Fear.

"I am scared.."

you told me not to be afraid.
said that I should trust you
& I could feel safe with you
so I confided in you; let down my guard
welcomed you into that place
inside of my heart... that had been vacant for so long
& it felt so good..
almost too good.
something had to be wrong...
& I knew it
at that moment, nothing felt right
I'd already made the same mistake twice
unbelieving of myself & what was inside
instead I believed in you
told myself that everything you said had to be true
how could it not be?
this was you
but deep down inside, I knew.
something this good, it couldn't be true
my soul, it wants to cry & mourn for my security
but instead I'm letting go
practicing believing in me
the decisions I make may not always seem right
but I've got to stop fearing & put an end to this fight
this fight between myself & I.
tonight I'm giving it all up
now that I've exhaled & cried
I'm waving my white flag & I'm leaving you & these words behind..
all that I can say is... "I tried.."